“My marriage will not grow as it should if I do not attend to it consistently. Under God’s loving sovereignty, I– not my wife– am the keeper of the garden that is my marriage. This is the very heart of what it means to be the God-appointed leader in my home.
Scripture is clear: The husband is responsible for leading and cultivating romance in the marital relationship. If it is led by the wife, or by no one, that love will take a different, lesser character. It will not be a love that accurately reflects the relationship between Christ and the Church. It will not be God’s highest and best for you as a couple. It will not bring appropriate glory to God. It will not produce that kind of passion and intimacy reserved for Christian couples seeking to live for God’s glory in all things.
Don’t let this happen in your marriage. Or if it has already happened, it’s not too late. By God’s grace, you can fix it. This book tells you how. Study your wife. Find what specific practices will most effectively communicate your romantic passion for her. Locations, activities, settings, restaurants, vacation spots, romantic overnight getaways– learn what she loves, and make the sacrifices necessary to serve and romance her.”
–C. J. Mahaney, Sex, Romance, and the Glory of God (Wheaton, Ill.: Crossway, 2004), 52-3.